Life is a journey, and for late bloomers, the path may be winding, but it’s uniquely our own. In a world that often celebrates early successes, the pursuit of personal development can feel like a lonely climb for those of us who find their stride later in life. Depending on which phase of your late bloomer journey you are in, this post can be interpreted as either a warning or an explanation. A warning for those who have not yet experienced it or an explanation for those who are currently experiencing it, but don’t know why. Let’s discuss why social shifts occur, at least once and sometimes more than once, along your pursuit of personal development as a late bloomer.
Blind To Your Own Change
Self-development is ironic in that the first person to notice the beginnings of your transformation usually is not you. How messed up is that? You’re the one doing all of this work on your mind, body, finances and more, but when the results slowly start to trinkle in, you will be the last one to notice. You may ask yourself, well if I’m the LAST to know, who is the first? The first to notice the initial changes from your self-development will always be outsiders: your friends, family, coworkers, significant other(s), and even strangers. Understanding this is key, late bloomers, as by understanding this, it will make the subtle, and in some cases major, changes within social interactions with those outsiders make a lot more sense.
You are with yourself every day and odds are you are constantly comparing yourself to those around you. Inherent modesty, coupled with a penchant for comparative thinking against those who achieved success earlier, often obscures a late bloomer’s ability to recognize their personal growth. It is not uncommon for late bloomers to downplay their accomplishments, attributing their success to external factors or coincidences. Additionally, the lack of external validation and societal recognition further contributes to a delayed acknowledgment of progress. Focused on the ongoing journey rather than fixed destinations, late bloomers may fear complacency, continuously seeking improvement and inadvertently overlooking strides being made.
The Green-Eyed Monster
You’re probably now thinking, wait, what does being “blind to my own change” have to do with social shifts? Isn’t it good to transform? Yes, my fellow late bloomer, it is good to transform. It is also okay to be late (pun intended) to recognize that you’re transforming; matter of fact, it’s quite common. However, the reality is the day you woke up and said, “I’m tired of being the way I am. I want better for myself”, you challenged the status quo. As you pursue new passions, change career trajectories, or undergo transformative experiences, envy might surface among peers who have adhered to more conventional paths.
The success or growth achieved by late bloomers can act as a mirror reflecting unfulfilled desires or missed opportunities in others. This jealousy can manifest in subtle ways, from passive-aggressive comments to a subtle distancing within the social group. As a late bloomer, you unintentionally become a catalyst for self-reflection in your peers. As a result, you might find yourself navigating the complex terrain of success-induced envy while striving to maintain genuine connections.
The Solution?
So, what is a late bloomer to do if one day they look up and realize, “wow…I’m all alone”? First, let’s talk about what you will NOT do:
- You will not apologize for improving yourself.
- You will not go back to being your old, less happy self.
- You will not shrink yourself to make others feel bigger.
- You will not waste time trying to disprove people’s false beliefs of you.
- You will not lose your dignity in an attempt to keep these people in your life.
You will simply let them go, late bloomer. That’s all you can do. You will let go, continue to grow, and understand that the people meant for you will come. The people meant for you will celebrate you and congratulate you. They will have empathy, love, and compassion for you. Focus on those individuals rather than the ones who left you or pushed you away. You will come to understand that you did nothing wrong by partaking on the path of personal development to become your best.
In Conclusion
As you embrace personal growth and pursue newfound passions, some individuals in your existing social network may find it challenging to resonate with the evolving version of you. This shift can lead to a natural process of people leaving your life, making room for new connections that align more closely with your current aspirations and values.
And while it may be bittersweet to see familiar faces depart, this process will allow you to create space for relationships that foster understanding, shared interests, and support on your continued journey of self-discovery. The departure of some individuals can be viewed as a necessary step in the evolution of personal growth, paving the way for meaningful connections with those who appreciate and celebrate your newfound path.
-Later Bloomers
