The term “Late Bloomer” refers to a person who develops skills, abilities, or maturity later than is typical for their age group. Late bloomers excel or show significant progress in particular areas later in life, after initially struggling or showing little progress. As a result of this delayed achievement, late bloomers may have various side effects, some positive and others negative.
Examples of Good side effects may readily come to mind:
- Looking in the mirror and finally liking your appearance
- Having a career that feels enjoyable
- New friendships
- No longer feeling intense dread and anxiety when interacting with peers
- Willingness to try new things
- Validation from others on your improved appearance, newfound success, and more.
However, even with these “good” side effects to look forward to, late bloomers may find themselves at the finish line experiencing side effects that feel bad or even ugly. They may ask themselves, “how is this possible? I have finally won. This is everything I have ever wanted…right?”.
Yes, late bloomers, you ARE indeed winning, growing, and improving, but the other side to blooming late are the side effects that come along with taking a little longer.
Examples of Bad and Ugly side effects may include:
- Ongoing struggles with self esteem
- Difficulties setting boundaries with others
- Distrust
- Fear of humiliation
- Pressure to peform
- Fear of failure
However, the purpose of this post is not to make you feel bad about yourself if you are having negative side effects. Rather, it is to validate that you as a late bloomer can achieve and still feel feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, and more. It doesn’t make you broken or unappreciative of your achievements. In fact, it is a very normal experience that many late bloomers have. This experience is so common that psychologists created a term for it, Imposter Syndrome.
What is imposter syndrome? This is when a person feels like they are a fraud. They may question if they are deserving of love, a successful career, supportive friendships, even after successfully obtaining those things. It can lead to a form of overperformance, feeling the need to repeatedly “prove” that they are worthy of the life they have. It can cause the person to question the good things in their life, fearful that one day they will be discovered as being “not enough” and it will all be taken away. This can lead to late bloomers experiencing the bad and ugly side effects listed above.
Why does this happen? Take time to reflect on all the things that may have occurred during the time it took you to bloom. Did you experience bullying, poverty, feeling not understood? Some late bloomers do. Think about how you perceive being a later bloomer. Do you think you are a late bloomer because you were less smart, less deserving, or that you just got lucky?
People who bloom late may have experienced negative feedback or ridicule early in their lives, which can lead to self-doubt and contribute to impostor syndrome. They may also struggle with comparisons to others and feel like they are behind.
How can you improve? In some ways, these experiences as a late bloomer are a form of social trauma. But there is hope. Just like late bloomers must prioritize their mental health in order to begin to bloom, you must also continue to work on your mental health even after you bloom. With the help of mental health professionals, friends, and colleagues who may also know what it is like to bloom late, you can work to overcome these bad and ugly side effects.
Reach out to your friends for support. Look back at old pictures compared to current pictures to see how far you have come. Make lists of the bad feelings you remember experiencing, but no longer do. Congratulate yourself on your journey.
See the article, Imposter Syndrome | Psychology Today, for more tips on how to overcome the negative side effects of imposter syndrome.
Overall, it is important to remember that everyone develops at their own pace and that there is no “right” time to achieve certain milestones. Be kind to yourself on this journey of blooming. Overtime and with persistent effort you may begin to see some of those bad and ugly side effects slowly disappear.
Remember everyone has unique strengths and talents, and it’s never too late to develop and grow in these areas.
Take the quiz to find out where you are behind.
Are You a Late Bloomer? Quiz – Late Bloomer Chronicles
Later Bloomers!
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! Its the little changes that produce the most important changes. Many thanks for sharing!